Printables and PDFs

Relationship Resource Center | The Counseling Hub | Columbia, Mo

These are frequently used tools in relationship counseling, so we figured we’d consolidate and post here for you. Please feel free to download and use whenever needed!

*Please note that you should hold off on doing these together until you’ve ran through them once (at least once) with your clinician. They’re very straightforward and ‘simple,’ but don’t confuse that with easy.

Enhancing Conversation and Listening to Understand

• have a conversation where both parties can feel heard and understood with the “gottman-rapaport” (i.e., our basic speaker/listener activity)

• the infamous “feeling wheel” (you know you love this one)

• make sure you’re not getting caught up in negative escalation by steering clear of “the four horsemen”

Moving Through Conflict

• if you’re processing a specific fight or regrettable incident, you’ll want the “aftermath of a fight or regrettable incident”

• attempt a compromise through using “the art of compromise” (don’t jump to this too early - it’s crucial that you completely understand your partner’s point of view first)

• still make sure you’re not getting caught up in the “four horsemen” - they’re terrible for conflict

• slow down your conflict and conversations with “the repair checklist”