How to Practice Emotional Vulnerability
Opening up and being emotionally vulnerable can be terrifying. Human connection is just as important as food, water, and shelter. But connecting with others relies on this sense of vulnerability. Being vulnerable is how real and genuine connections are made and built. It strengthens our relationships, builds trust, and allows others to truly see us.
Despite the need for authentic connections, being open and honest with yourself and others can bring on added anxiety, stress, and fear. You may be worried about coming across as too awkward, being judged, or being rejected. Even though being vulnerable can be uncomfortable and scary, it's something that you can work toward getting better at each and every day.
Look Inward
Before you can open up to someone else, you have to start with yourself. Check in with yourself, look inward, and ask yourself some questions that can help you build your self-awareness:
How are you feeling?
What are you feeling?
Why are you feeling this way?
Try to determine what emotions you're experiencing, acknowledge them, and actually allow yourself to feel them. Putting a name to your emotions without judging yourself for feeling them is a great first step. Try writing in a journal or using prompts to help you figure out what's really going on internally.
Define What Being Vulnerable Means
Unfortunately, being vulnerable in today's world can be a rare occurrence. In childhood, many of us are taught to be strong and tough, to just "rub some dirt on it." Negative emotions may have been pushed to the side and not properly dealt with. Being vulnerable doesn't mean that you have to spill your deepest, darkest secrets to someone. Below are some examples of what being vulnerable can look like:
Admitting that you don't have all of the answers
Asking for help instead of trying to handle it all on your own
Saying how you're feeling instead of pretending that you're fine
Telling a loved one or close friend that you care about them before you hear it from them first
Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Being vulnerable can be extremely uncomfortable, especially if you're just getting started with opening up more. When you get started, it won't be easy, but it will get easier with time and practice. At first, you might notice your voice shaking, your heart racing, or feeling like your nerves and anxiety are taking control.
Remember that being vulnerable doesn't mean that you have to be strong or fearless. Being vulnerable means that you're able to stay open and honest, even when it may feel difficult or scary.
Don't Take It Personally
This can be easier said than done, but not everyone with whom you're open, honest, and vulnerable will know how to respond in these types of situations. Some people are uncomfortable with vulnerability, and someone sharing their thoughts and feelings may be difficult for them.
When someone is unable to hold space for your vulnerability, it often says more about them than it does about you. Even if they avoid the situation, become awkward, or shut down completely, it doesn't mean that what you shared is unshareable. Consider it to be a learning lesson on sharing with the right people.
Strength Through Vulnerability
Being emotionally vulnerable isn't a sign of weakness. Emotional vulnerability is about being the most real, authentic, and full version of yourself, through the good times and the bad. With the right amount of time and practice, you'll build stronger connections, healthier and more realistic boundaries, and a deeper relationship with yourself. It's okay to not be okay. Reach out today to set up an initial consultation for couples therapy.
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