Change, Part 4 - The Inevitable Relapse (and Recovery from Relapse)

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Making positive changes to better yourself are great. Allowing yourself to utilize confidence and patience to implementing those changes are great as well. However, we are only human. We slip up at times and forget to utilize the skills that we have worked so hard to obtain. Don’t allow this minor slip up to consume you. Minor slip ups can come in all shapes and sizes. Having a place to talk about those, such as counseling, provides you the space you need. 

While making desired changes is a great thing to gift yourself, mistakes will be made. Mistakes are not always bad. I want to focus on this. Mistakes can be great! They allow us to reexamine our method and allow us to see our change from a different perspective. Don’t allow this “relapse” to define you. Accept it as a learning experience and use it to fuel the next change you make. Think about how this relapse happened and find solutions.

This relapse may set you back but understand that your next change could be more certain. Prepare for this change. Ensure that the change you are about to make is going to lead to happiness. Use scenarios to examine if true happiness will come out of this change. Reflect on the previous change and identify what parts are necessary for your happiness and identify which parts were lost in order to make others happy. This is not about them. Be selfish! We all need to embrace some sort of selfish behavior to find our happiness and then allow yourself to think of others. Never make changes simply for others.

Lastly, take your time. If something doesn’t work the first time, there are usually changes to be made. Invest time in yourself. This is an investment that will always pay off. Relapses happen and should not strictly be viewed as negative. This allows you to make the next change better, which should lead to more certain feeling of happiness.

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The only person that you can control is yourself. The only person that you can change is yourself. While it may seem self-centered, allow yourself to be selfish. If you can better yourself, happiness will surely follow. This will also lead to healthier relationships and interactions with others. It’s so important that everyone sees the value in high self-esteem and productive self-criticism.

Figuring out the only person you can control is an entirely different journey that we won't get into here. In the meantime, while trying to find your self control, seeking out help is never a bad thing. Our counseling takes place here in Columbia, Missouri to provide individuals with the support for change that they need. Check out any of our previous blogs to give you some pointers along the way.