Anxiety When Dating Someone New
Dating can be both exciting and nerve-wracking, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. For many people, the excitement that comes along with a new connection is often paired with a wave of anxiety. Worries about first impressions, wondering if the other person feels the same, or fearing rejection are all common at the start of new relationships.
While this type of anxiety is common and even natural, it can interfere with forming healthy, enjoyable relationships if left unchecked. Let’s learn more about what anxiety when dating someone new looks like.
Why Anxiety Happens in New Relationships
A variety of factors can contribute to anxiety in new relationships. Below are some of the most common:
Fear of Rejection
A fear of rejection can lead to excessive caution and self-criticism. It can cause you to worry about not being liked or being left out.
Uncertainty
When getting to know someone, there are many unknowns and uncertainties. You may even start to question whether the person you’re seeing really likes you or wonder where your relationship is going, if anywhere.
Negative Past Experiences
Negative past life experiences can shape the relationships you have in the present and future. If you dealt with infidelity, heartbreak, or betrayal in a past relationship, the feelings of insecurity and lack of trust may resurface even in new relationships.
Pressure to Impress
When you date someone new, you want to put your best foot forward. This can cause intense pressure to be perfect or to impress your date. Instead of being perfect, you’re more likely to doubt yourself with this added pressure.
How Anxiety Can Impact Your Dating Experience
Anxiety can change the way you act and behave, which can make dating even more stressful. Dealing with anxiety while dating someone new can cause you to overthink everything. During dates, you might feel extremely tense, which can prevent you from opening up, being vulnerable, and creating genuine connections.
These anxious experiences often come from a place of good intentions and wanting the relationship to be strong. Unfortunately, they often have the opposite effect.
How to Better Manage Dating Anxiety
There are several techniques you can use to deal with anxiety. It may take some time to find methods that work best for you, but they are worth exploring.
Focus on the Present
Anxiety often comes from jumping ahead to the future. It can cause you to imagine outcomes before they actually happen. Mindfulness techniques, such as simply paying attention to the conversation happening right in front of you, can help keep your focus grounded in the present moment.
Shift Your Mindset
The dates that you go on aren’t tests that you’re trying to pass or games that you’re trying to win. Try to shift your mindset and reframe them as opportunities to explore your compatibility. This simple switch in mindset can help reduce pressure and allow for more authentic connections and interactions.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Instead of thinking about all of the ways that your date could go wrong, try to challenge those negative thoughts and focus on what could go right. The next time you find yourself fixated on a negative thought, try to question its validity and determine whether you have any evidence for it. This can help calm unwarranted worries.
Take It Slow
Try not to rush into anything. Building a solid, healthy connection takes time. Give yourself the permission and grace to date at your own speed. This can help prevent any anxiety from escalating.
Professional Support Can Help
Experiencing anxiety when dating someone new is completely normal and natural. But that doesn’t mean your anxiety has to control your overall experience. With the right tools and mindset, anxiety can become less of a roadblock for you and building meaningful connections. Contact us today if you’re interested in exploring therapy options for anxiety.
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