I Feel Lost With Life... I Don't Know What To Do

Feeling untethered? Unsure about where to go next, what to do with your life, and what your future holds? (Technically, nobody knows what the future holds, but that doesn’t mean we should say ‘screw it’ and completely disconnect what control we do have in our life.)

You’re not alone (as cheesy as that sounds). Seriously, though, you’re not the first person who feels untethered and you surely won’t be the last. Even further, this isn’t something that happens once in life and then it’s done. It can happen consistently throughout life. The good news is that the better we get at dealing with this experience, the sooner we understand what’s going on, and the sooner we can address it. 

How to Recognize You’re Feeling Lost

It might seem counterintuitive, but is worth mentioning. Sometimes, we get in such a state of confusion and overwhelm that we dont’ even recognize part of the issue is feeling untethered. We say to ourselves, “I’m just unhappy with my weight/job/partner/past/class/boss.” And then we leave it at that, passing the blame to those around us, but not really taking the time to reflect on what role we have in it.

So, here are a few ways to assess whether or not you’re feeling lost in life. 

1. You feel uninterested and bored by (almost) everything.
   There’s no real passion or purpose for what you’re doing. You don’t care about previous activities you used to love. You’re going through the motions, but you’re not invested.
   

2. You look at others and wonder what you’re missing.
   It’s not uncommon for you to see other people in your life who seem genuinely happy and satisfied and to be left feeling confused. You might either say, “they’re full of it,” or you might say, “I wish I felt a semblance of that.” Either way, you feel disconnected from others who seem genuinely happy.
   

3. You feel disconnected from those around you.
   I mean with everybody. Your partner, your children, your friends, your family of origin, your coworkers, the barista you see every day... everybody. You can remember what it felt like to actually enjoy seeing these people, and to be interested in what they were saying. Currently, though, you’re left only remembering what it was like and telling yourself you might feel that again someday.

I’m Lost, Then. Now What? 

Well, there’s not really an easy fix, I’m afraid. There are simple things you can do, but part of the simple things entails reflecting on your current state of being, your past state of being, your moods and behaviors, the things in life that spark any joy, the things in life that energize you even just a little bit, and assessing relationships (i.e. are they fulfilling your needs, are you being honest, is it personal or between you and the other person).  

The short version is that the first thing we do is assess.  

We want to get a true understanding of what is before we start making changes left and right. And I realize that you’re probably wanting a quick solution because this feeling is one that is distinctly uncomfortable. However, I’d urge you to ride it out to the extent that you fully understand it. Then, and only then, we can implement changes that will (ideally) improve your sense of feeling tethered. 

Of course, counseling is one way of doing that. We’re trained to help people sort out their feelings of lost-ness, and Tim, in particular, is a stellar person to see for this. We’re happy to help in any way we can, so contact us today to get a feel for whether we’re a good fit for you! 

Existential Drift...

I don't even know if the title is a term or not, but it makes sense in my head.

Here's what I meant by existential drift - it's that moment in time when you're thinking about the meaning of life, or why you're here, or what's your purpose, or what's it all mean, and then you shift from curiosity and awe into despair, angst, and terror. It's that reeeeally slow shift; that gradual slope that you don't catch until you're speeding down the slide into the deep, dark recesses of your existentially-terrified mind.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then kudos to you, my friend. For those who do know what I'm talking about, welcome to the club!

Benefits of Existential Drift

While this might sound asinine, there are wonderful implications about this experience and process.

1. It means you like to question things and don't accept what 'is' without serious inquiry. This is awesome! Except it can lead to despair if you let it snowball out of control.
2. It means that when you reach a point of feeling grounded, you can feel certain that it's the sort of ground that isn't going to crumble with a hard jump. In essence, you've laid a more solid foundation for yourself than you'd ever get from somebody else.
3. When you meet another angsty soul in this journey of life, you really get each other. On a meaningful level, you connect. It's like you know that you've each walked through the fiery pits of your own personal hells, and you relate.

All of that said, there are also cons. I think you can guess what they are, though.

Downsides of Existential Drift

1. When you're in the midst of it, you feel like a lunatic. Seriously, you doubt everything, you feel untethered from reality, unsure of which direction to go or how to even decide, and disconnected from everything and everyone.
2. Taking point one into consideration - it can lead into depression if not processed and sorted out properly. And by 'properly,' we don't mean in a cookie cutter way, we just mean in a way that helps you get to solid footing.
3. It sucks to experience.

That's really all there is to it. Well, technically, no, there's way more, but that's enough for an intro blog post.

Ride the Metaphorical Existential Wave

I also have to throw out there that if you're going through this or have gone through it, you're absolutely not alone. I mean, technically, you are, because that's one of the existential and universal human experiences, but you're not in that others before you and others after you will go through this very thing. It's part of being human (one of the crappy parts). It can also lead to a much richer life. Hold onto that while you ride the wave, my friend.

Be well and rock on.