Can online counseling and therapy work?
Ah, the heart of the issue. Short answer? YES. A thousand times yes. Online counseling and therapy absolutely works. We’ll get more into it working for couples therapy and marriage counseling (one of our specialties!) in just a minute, but it still feels important to clarify that it’s effective, period.
To reiterate: online counseling and therapy works for couples, marriages, and those in relationships!! It’s not just for people seeking out individual counseling and therapy; it’s for all types of folks. If you want to get really fancy, we can even talk about online group counseling, but let’s bypass that for right now and focus on why you’re here.
Why would I do online counseling and therapy?
I mean, this is a fantastic question and my answer is that it depends. You could want to do online counseling and therapy for a variety of reasons, none of which overlap. For some people, their schedule is way inflexible and/or they’re working excessive hours right now, and online is the only way to squeeze in counseling/therapy. Valid.
For others, they’re doing long-distance for the time being (or long-term) and know that they won’t be in the same place on a consistent enough basis that they can make it into an office together with any semblance of consistency. Also valid.
For another group, they’re physically unable to get themselves to the practice setting, whether for lack of mobility (i.e., one car household, no public transport) or physical discomfort, and so they opt for doing the work from the comfort of their own home. Still valid.
For an entirely different group, they might just prefer seeing a clinician online. Also entirely valid.
The reasons changes from person to person, but the reality is that some folks simply want to (or need to) do online counseling and therapy. No shame in that game. As we’ve already discussed, highly effective.
How does online counseling and therapy work?
Another stellar question. There’s the technical answer, but there’s also the emotional answer.
Technically speaking, it works in much the same way a simple video call works. You’ve probably facetimed a friend before, used skype to connect with a long-distance relative, or even booted up zoom for a work meeting or two.
It’s pretty much the same thing.
We get you hooked up with a HIPAA-compliant (read: secure) platform and then your counselor (from our counseling team #biased #lovethem) will initiate a video call with you at the time of your scheduled session. Super easy. We’d recommend having three things.
internet connection (although you can also use the video through an app (which is useful if you don’t have internet connection for some reason)
headphones (optional, not required)
privacy (i.e., don’t do couples therapy or marriage counseling in your local coffee shop)
Boom. Easy, right?
On an emotional level? Also much the same as in-person sessions. You can expect a few things, not least of which includes:
a supportive, validating space for your experience, thoughts, feelings, and opinions
judgment-free feedback to help you reflect on yourself and your tendencies
emotional safety and affirmation
collaborative treatment and constructive help for evolving and moving forward in your life (*fun note that moving forward does not equal constant, linear growth)
This list is not exhaustive, but it’s a starting point. Counseling and therapy is so damn beautiful. I also just realized that you can learn more about who we are and what we value through, literally, reading about our core practice values. That might give you even more of a sense of who we are and how we operate.
Okay, but how does online counseling and therapy work for couples therapy and marriage counseling?
The technical aspect of this remains similar to the above. You’d need some way to connect with video, internet connection, and privacy. The video is covered for you via our awesome platform that we use. The internet connection is something we can’t do for you (we would if we could!). And the privacy is also on you, if you’re opting for online work. Also, no headphones in this case, since there will be more than one of you on the call.
And emotionally? Also similar to the above. You’ll be asked to self-reflect, share about your internal state of being, collaboratively and constructively seek to evolve and change as a person, and be given feedback in a way that should push you, but not overwhelm you.
Online couples therapy and marriage counseling, in particular, looks different than individual online counseling, though. If you want a way more detailed version, you might be more interested to read this overview of what you can expect from couples therapy work, but I’ll still hit the highlights for you right here.
Here are a few things you can expect from online couples therapy and marriage counseling:
a thorough assessment (way the hell important for understanding what’s actually going on in your relationship - cannot be overstated)
discussions with your partner rather than through your counselor/therapist (your counselor/therapist isn’t your interpreter; they’ll teach you how to do it, but then will help you navigate rather than direct every move)
learning specific techniques and interventions (helpful for transitioning what you’re learning into your home environment)
catching relationship killers (i.e., the four horsemen)
And that’s basically it! It’s so hard to capture what couples therapy and marriage counseling is like via writing. To explain something that’s so nuanced and specific to each relationship is like trying to catch a gallon of rain with one bucket. Lots of drops, but it just takes some time to reach the goal.
What should I look for in a couples therapist and marriage counselor?
Honestly, this is one of my favorite questions because couples and marriage work is a specialty. You should not just go to anybody who says, “sure, I see couples!” without actually vetting them, their experience and training, their supervision, and the types of marriages and couples they work with.
Case in point. Any person who is licensed in the state of Missouri can say they do couples therapy and marriage counseling. I hate to break it to you, but this is true. And to some extent, there’s truth to it. We’ve got some education under our belts when we shift into prelicensed or fully licensed mode (post-masters work, basically), and so we can say that we work with xyz populations.
However, somebody saying they work with couples and marriages doesn’t actually mean that they specialize in this work or that they have advanced training in it.
What you want to look for is people who take a special, vested interest in the couples therapy and marriage counseling route.
These folks are going to have:
additional training in a couples therapy approach (Gottman Method Couples Therapy is our preferred approach and hiiiiiighly effective/backed by a crap-ton of research)
a special passion/interest/affinity for couples therapy
experience with your particular couples therapy/marriage counseling issue (i.e., affairs or infidelity; excessive, toxic, or nonexistent conflict; communication breakdowns)
You’ll be able to hear their love for what they do when they talk about it. You should also be able to grasp what it is they’re saying and how it directly relates to you and your partner. The reality is that this is a big deal. Couples therapy and marriage counseling is a last resort for many people, and making sure you find the right person is suuuuper important.
Does Gottman Method Couples Therapy work through online counseling?
If you haven’t gotten the theme of this blog yet, YES!! Yes, Gottman Method works through online counseling.
This is our preferred method for couples therapy and marriage counseling. For a variety of reasons, but let’s just say that it’s one of the best approaches for couples/marriage work, is highly research based, tends to give people relief because it offers a deep understanding of what’s going on in the relationship, and it’s simple (not always easy!!!) to implement outside of sessions.
Reach out if you have any questions about online couples therapy and marriage counseling!
Seriously, you can always email us directly with any questions you have, read more about online counseling (in general), or submit any queries you have via our contact form by clicking the button below. We’re happy to answer any questions we can and get you hooked up with the right person for your counseling/therapy work. Be well and happy counseling!
About the Author
Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
Individual Counselor & Therapist, Couples Therapist & Marriage Counselor | Columbia, Mo
Tara Vossenkemper is the founder, owner, and practicing counselor/therapist with The Counseling Hub with a Ph.D. in counselor education and supervision (earned from the nationally recognized UM - Saint Louis counselor education program). She specializes in couples therapy & marriage counseling using the highly effective Gottman Method Couples Therapy (and has completed their three levels of training).
Tara has a diverse set of clinical experiences, working with both adolescents and adults on issues ranging from eating disorders and anxiety to spirituality and existential crises. However, she is most passionate about couples counseling. Tara enjoys working with couples looking to decrease or enhance conflict, relearn healthy and effective communication, or are healing from an affair. She's also been formally trained as in the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.
Tara has also presented at national, regional, and state conferences, as well as locally, on the topics of couples therapy and marriage counseling, discrimination, sexual minority distress, spirituality, healthy lifestyle and mental health, and private practice.