Accepting That People Might Not Like You
This seems funny to talk about, but it’s actually a significant factor in lots of lives. Here's the long and short of it. You will interact with people who don’t like you. WILL. Not “maybe you can sway them,” but actually, “some people won’t like you.” Period.
Sit with that.
Is it hard to stomach? Are you feeling okay with it or is it something that makes you feel a little bit icky on the inside?
Okay, now sit with this. You go to say something to another person and are met with a look of disgust or contempt, and you feel slightly gut-punched because it came out of nowhere and you don’t know what you did wrong. You start reflecting and thinking about what you said, how you said it, what you were thinking about when you said it and if your facial expression was an accurate representation of the message you were trying to relay, if what you said is a trigger for this other person (or could possibly be?!), if you’ve ever had an interaction like that with them before, or if they seemed like they were having a bad day and you shouldn’t have tried to talk to them in the first place.
BLEGH. All of those thoughts race through your head in a matter of 3 seconds. Then you spend the next three days feeling terrible, the three after that figuring out what you should do about it, and then the next three thinking about the next time you see them. At the same time, you start thinking how uncomfortable it’s going to be, how awkward you feel because you’re not even sure what you did wrong in the first place, and then you spend three more days after that acting like you don’t care and trying to let it go. Except one day you randomly think about it (again) which starts the whole process over.
Does that sound more familiar?
It’s okay if it does! I mean, it doesn’t sound very pleasant, by any means, but it’s okay that the process occurs for you.
My guess is that you don’t feel comfortable with it and want to be able to let go of feeling totally wrapped up with whatever the situation was.
Realistically, part of existing in life means that people aren’t going to Iike you. It’s going to be based on a variety of factors, some of which you could probably change (but would you want to?) and some of which have nothing to do with you.
Maybe a question to think about and reflect on is whether or not it’s worth it to invest your energy in a person who seems to not like you, or whether it’s time for you to invest your time in working on yourself through counseling with Tim, who specializes in social relationships. I’ll give you a hint - one has a much higher and long-term payoff than the other.