Let’s Get Real about Youth Suicide

Homework. The latest TikTok trend. Do my friends like me? These are just a few of the thoughts we expect to occupy most young people’s minds today. However, according to the CDC  about 20% of high school students are having thoughts about suicide and about 9% reported an actual attempt. These number allegedly increase depending on various factors. 30% of young girls surveyed said they had thoughts of suicide. Rates for suicide attempts in Black youth have increased in the last decade. LGBTQIA+ youth are also at higher risk for suicide. With all this scary information, where do we go from here? There is research that is still being done, especially for black youth, whose rates for suicide have historically been lower.  In the meantime, what can caregivers, teachers, and adults do for these young people?

Know the Risks

In the mental health field we talk about risk factors and protective factors for suicide for suicide. This can be a helpful starting place as you are thinking about this.  Risk factors according to the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) include:

• Prior suicide attempts

• Family history of attempts

• History of mental health conditions such as severe depression, anxiety disorders, and psychotic disorders

• Substance abuse

• Repeated impulsivity and aggressiveness

• Serious issues within the family

• Break ups or major relationship losses

• Access to means of self-harm (unsecured firearms, prescription medications, poisons)

• Social withdraw/isolation

Protective factors include:

• Strong social/family connections and supports

• Access to quality mental health care

• Effective coping strategies and problem solving skills

• Lack of access to means of self-harm (unsecured firearms, prescription medications, poisons)

Have a conversation

There has been a myth floating about that if you talk about suicide it will put these thoughts in the person’s mind, this is not true. Starting a conversation is the best way to know where the young person’s thoughts are. It can definitely be an intimidating conversation, start with genuine curiosity. Sometimes when we are scared that can show as anger. Do the best you can to keep your own emotions regulated. Starting with “Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself?”, depending on the answer move on from there. If the answer is “Yes,” be curious about the specifics of the thoughts. Sometimes these thoughts may come out in a joking manner, take them seriously and use those moments to have a conversation about suicide and self -harm. If you are worried about how to have the conversation NAMI has a few conversation starters for people in distress.

Understand what suicidal ideation sounds like

In Taylor Swift’s Song Is it Over Now? she has a line “I think of jumping off a very tall something’s, just to see you come running…” Now while we could argue the intent and meaning of this line, if a young person in your life is saying they are considering harming themselves, even if for attention, take it seriously. Suicidal ideation may not come out as I am going to kill myself. It can also be “I want to go to sleep and never wake up”, “Sometimes I think the world would be better if I wasn’t around.”

Involve a Professional

If you have started the conversation or maybe you’ve heard them say some of the above statements contact a therapist. Contacting your doctor can help you find a good referral, a quick google for therapist’s near you can also help. If they are having urges in that moment you can call or text 988 the crisis & suicide hotline. If they are in immediate danger, take them to the ER.

Written by Clinical Therapist Alexa Robinson

Overcoming Depression: Finding Hope and Healing Through Counseling

Depression is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It can be an overwhelming and isolating experience, but it's important to remember that help and support are available.

Counseling, in particular, can play a vital role in the journey of depression recovery and overcoming the weight of this issue.

For those seeking professional assistance, we, The Counseling Hub, serve clients at two locations, Jefferson City and Columbia, Missouri and come highly recommended as a resource.

Understanding Depression

Depression is more than just feeling sad or down temporarily. It is a persistent and prolonged state of low mood, accompanied by a loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of hopelessness.

Depression can significantly impact an individual's personal, social, and professional life, making it crucial to address it promptly.

The Role of Counseling in Depression Recovery

Counseling offers a safe and supportive space where individuals can explore their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, guided by a qualified professional. Therapists are trained to help clients understand the underlying causes of their depression, develop coping strategies, and learn healthier ways of thinking and behaving.

The Counseling Hub: Your Source of Support

If you're seeking a therapist in the Jefferson City or Columbia, Missouri areas, The Counseling Hub is highly recommended. With our commitment to providing quality mental health care, The Counseling Hub offers a compassionate and personalized approach to therapy.

Our experienced team of licensed therapists specialize in treating depression and related mental health conditions, ensuring that each client receive the care they deserve.

Finding the Right Therapist

When searching for a therapist, it's essential to find someone who understands your unique needs and provides a comfortable environment for open communication.

The Counseling Hub offers a diverse group of therapists with various specialties, ensuring that you can find a professional who resonates with you. Whether you prefer individual therapy, group therapy, or couples therapy, we have clinicians available to guide you towards healing.

Convenience and Accessibility

Convenience and accessibility are crucial factors when seeking therapy. The Counseling Hub has two locations, one in Jefferson City and another in Columbia, Missouri. These locations make it easier for individuals living in surrounding areas to access our services. We’ve got flexible appointment scheduling and a lot of commitment to providing timely care, The Counseling Hub strives to make the therapy process as smooth and convenient as possible.

The Importance of Local Resources

Choosing a local therapist has its advantages. Not only does it reduce travel time and costs, but it also allows for a deeper understanding of the community's unique challenges and resources. The Counseling Hub's locations in Jefferson City and Columbia ensure that clients receive personalized care that considers their individual circumstances and the local context.

Embracing the Journey of Recovery

Recovering from depression is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and professional guidance. Our goal at The Counseling Hub is to empower individuals to embrace the journey and support them in rediscovering joy, purpose, and a sense of well-being. With evidence-based approaches, tailored treatment plans, and genuine dedication to our clients and their well-being, our therapists offer a beacon of hope for those seeking depression recovery.

Depression can be a formidable foe, but with the right support and guidance, it is possible to overcome its grip.

The Counseling Hub, with its locations in Jefferson City and Columbia, Missouri, serves as an invaluable resource for individuals seeking therapy and depression recovery. By seeking the help of a qualified therapist and engaging in therapy, you can embark on a path towards healing, rediscover your inner strength, and regain control of your life. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

First Time Parenting & Your Mental Health

A Parent’s Mental Health

Whether you have been preparing for several years to be a parent or you were caught by surprise, first time parenting can be intimidating. You may not know what to expect because every one may be telling you different things. You may have been told conflicting things like infancy is exhausting or that it’s the easiest stage since all they do is sleep. One thing is for certain: you’re overwhelmed with love and other emotions! If you’re taking home your baby, there are a few things that you need to know about the baby, but there are also things you need to know about taking care of yourself and your relationship. Focusing on your baby shouldn’t replace your mental and relational health.

What to Expect- Sleeping for Baby and Sleeping for You

Bringing home a new born is full of excitement and challenges. Emotions can be high as reality sets in that you’ve finally become a parent! Infants can require a lot or minimal amounts of attention depending on the temperament of the child. Some babies may prefer to be held while others may prefer self-entertaining. Some babies may want to breast feed while others prefer a bottle. One frequent topic which occurs has to do with sleep. Sleep for infants is bizarre! Newborns generally sleep 16 hours or so a day. They often sleep during the day and are awake at night at first. They will sleep for small stretches at a time as they wake up to eat every two to five hours (Erford, 2017).

What this means is that parents need to nap while baby is napping. Sleep has so many effects on mental health. For example, extreme lack of sleep can mimic symptoms of schizophrenia. Sleeping for parents is super important also to avoid frustration. Shaken baby syndrome may occur when parents are overloaded and exhausted. Babies around six months old generally sleep through the night and have an established sleeping pattern with most sleeping 12-hours a night (Erford, 2017).

Here are a few guidelines for infant sleeping:

Always place a child on their back to sleep

Don’t place pillows or stuffed animals in their sleeping space (they’re cute, but not safe)

Don’t leave animals (specifically cats) in the room while your child sleeps.

These things have been linked to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). It’s also highly recommended that you don’t sleep with your infant when they come home. There have been many accidents when exhausted parents fall asleep and roll over on top of their infant causing death. In summary, sleep is very important for a developing baby as well as the mental health of their parents.

To Hold Baby or Not to Hold Baby- That Is the Question

Alright, here’s the question all new parents may be asking themselves: Should I pick up my crying baby? Answer: there’s no one correct answer. As mentioned earlier, babies have different temperaments. Meaning, some will generally be fussier than others. Some may be calmer than others. Yet some babies may need more social interaction than others. They’re human beings and so they’re going to vary with their wants and needs.

With that said, picking up a crying infant isn’t inherently good or bad, it depends on what your beliefs and values are regarding parenting.

If you pick up your child every time they cry, then they will likely expect to be held a lot of the time. If you don’t mind holding your child often as you see it of a sign of secure attachment or want to foster healthy dependency- then do it!

If you rather let them cry for a short amount of time as you want them to learn to self-soothe and be independent- then do that!

Personally, I think that moderation is key to just about all things in life. One suggestion, although it can be beneficial to let the baby “cry it out” on occasion (i.e., mom is only one home and she needs a shower), babies that are frequently not responded to can develop undesirable attachment styles which can affect their relationship patterns throughout their entire lives. Again, the key is moderation. Take care of your baby but reflect on the message and values you want to instill in your child and your relationship with them.

Taking Care of Yourself

            One of the most important things to know about bringing home a baby is that there is one person you may not have thought needs just as much attention…you! It may be easy to dismiss or deprioritize yourself when the infant demands attention and everyone else is asking questions about them. Simply stated, your needs matter too! Whether you were the one who just birthed a beautiful baby into the world, or you are a devoted partner, taking care of yourself is so very important. Think of it this way: you can’t help someone else before you help yourself. I mean, I guess you could, but you wouldn’t be as effective as you could’ve been if you gave yourself some TLC first. So what in the world does taking care of yourself mean? If you rearrange the words you will find the oh so popular phrase self-care. Ask yourself: what did self-care look like pre-baby? Taking a long shower, getting your hair trimmed and styled once a month, watching your favorite show, visiting with a friend, going to individual counseling, or getting a nap in. Continue to do your self-care. Those naps maybe interrupted by a crying baby, but you can take turns with who feeds and changes the baby which allows you a break and recharge. Your baby deserves the best parent you can be. You can’t be your best self for your partner or your baby if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Taking Care of Your Relationship

Ah yes, we finally got to the part about your relationship- my fave! It’s well known that relationships take a hit when a baby arrives. This is true even if the pregnancy was intentional and you and your partner were madly in love. Relationship dissatisfaction can be caused by many things but the number one is giving all the attention to nurturing the baby and not each other. Not saying you shouldn’t give your baby ample attention, but when you’re used to coming home and spending 20-minutes debriefing your day and showing affection is replaced by irritability and chores, it can be difficult to connect on a deep emotional level with your partner. You must make time for your partner and continue the bond of communication. Too often couples get sucked into devoting every waking minute into their children and they forget why they wanted to have a child with this person to begin with. Protect your time with your partner. Make them a priority to go on a date (and avoid talking about chores or baby talk on your date!). If you lose the things which kept you connected, you may feel lonely and more overwhelmed. If you’re reading this blog before baby, you can arrange a sitter to come predictably to make sure that setting time aside doesn’t fall in the cracks and get lost. Also, I know it might be hard to leave baby- but your relationship is worth it.

Single Parenting

Single parenting is on the rise as more individuals are having babies outside of marriage or committed relationships, deployment occurs, adoption has become easier (not easy by any means- but easier), career women decide they want to be mothers, and medical interventions are developed. Single parenting comes with it’s own challenges. You may feel obligated to give your child as much love and attention as a two-parent household. This can be taxing on your self-care routine, your budget, and your emotional stock tank. You must reflect on your emotional stock tank so that you don’t become drained. As if it wasn’t said enough; you cannot be the best parent you can be if you are not taking care of your self. I urge you to lean on those in your support system and be sure to continue self-care while continuing to recognize your self-worth as an individual. Self-care may look different being a single parent as you can’t let the other parent take a turn, so you may have to get creative. Get dressed up and eat a nice dinner by yourself. Take yourself out to a movie. Whatever you can do to refill that emotional tank.

Final Thoughts

Here you will find a quick summary of what you just read. Your mental health is important. Taking care of your mental health when bringing a baby home can help you be the best parent, partner, and self you can be. Sleep is very influential to mental well-being. Having an infant can drastically alter your sleeping pattern and can lead to a deterioration of your mental health. Nap while baby is napping; be aware of the safest ways babies sleep, and take turns taking care of your baby will help reduce the impact of lack of sleep. Holding your baby when they cry is a parenting preference on what you believe is important and good. Just don’t let the baby cry it out too much- you don’t want your baby to feel abandoned. Take care of yourself through continued self-care. You must take care of yourself to be able to fully care for another. Don’t neglect your relationship, which is extremely easy to do. Make your partner and connecting with your partner a priority. Lastly, single parenting is more common and comes with more challenges. Self-care is even more important when you’re a single parent as you can’t let another parent take a break. Lean on your support system. Lastly, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BABY!

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Molly Lyons- PLPC

Individual and Couples Counseling

Molly is currently in her final year of the Master of Science in Clinical Counseling at Central Methodist University (CMU) and is a student intern at The Counseling Hub and Boone County Mental Health Coalition, where she will assess and provide mental health interventions and resources for individuals and groups in Boone County schools. She obtained her Bachelor of Science in General Psychology with a minor in Child Development from Central Methodist University directly before enrolling in the counseling program. Prior to pursuing her counseling degree, Molly received an Associates of Science in Early Childhood Education from Moberly Area Community College. 

Molly has experience in the Counseling Center at MACC's Columbia campus, providing counseling services for students around the topics of identity crises, school-related stressors, depression issues, and coping with anxiety. Molly has co-facilitated Safe Zone trainings which introduce its members to the LGBTQ+ community terminology and basic information. Molly has also completed on online course in LGBTQ+ Counseling Competencies (College and Career Readiness) through the American Counseling Association (ACA). Molly is an active member of both the ACA and the Association for Multicultural Counseling and Development (AMCD).

Molly enjoys working with diverse populations and seeks to always be open to new learning experiences. She works best with individuals who are trying to discover who they are and how they relate to their world, as well as others in their world. Molly believes that a person’s external factors can provide both barriers and resources towards growth and that one must discover these in order to thrive.

Alcohol Awareness Month

Catch the Cue

            It seems like such a trend in our society to have a theme or holiday each month.  Even if you look at things on a daily level, there are usually special events or holidays that take place every day around our nation.  Was everyone aware that National Pizza Day is February 9th?! There are a lot of reasons to celebrate and bring awareness into our society.  Being able to focus on one topic for a day, or even better a whole month, is an subtle cue of community in our world; a time to share knowledge, experience, and pay tribute to the specific theme at hand.  Fortunately for us, April is National Alcohol Awareness Month!  You may be thinking to yourself, “Okay, I understand what alcohol is, why do we need a whole month recognizing what it’s all about?”  Well, when we think about alcohol in terms of how it interacts with our society, relationships, health, and processing—we would probably still be talking beyond the month of April. 

History Lesson!

So how did Alcohol Awareness month come about?  The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD—Now also called, Facing Addiction with NCADD) founded and recognized the month of April, as a time for everyone in America to come together and increase awareness and foster understanding of alcohol dependency and addiction.  The monthly recognition started back in 1987, as more and more research was surfacing around alcohol addiction, and the effects it can have on our lives.   Something that is really cool about Alcohol Awareness Month is that each year there is a theme that is directly related to the topic.  This can be a difficult topic to talk about!  I’m sure if we really sat down and thought about it, we could all think of at least one person in our lives that we knew or were close to that has been affected negatively by alcohol.  Having a theme for the month gives people a place to start when talking about alcohol addiction, and opens the door for exploration.  This year, the theme is “Help for Today, Hope for Tomorrow.”   Super powerful, right?  I’m not sure if this was a shared sentiment while reading, but the words help and hope stuck out the most for me.  The idea behind this year’s theme is to help each other in raising awareness about how detrimental alcohol addiction can be in our lives, and to hope for a better understanding of what it is in order to actively reduce and prevent it.  It goes back to the old adage of knowledge is power—The more we know, the more we can do to help each other.

How do we know?

             So what does alcohol addiction look like?  How does it show up in our environment and world?  Well, according to the NCADD, “One in every 12 adults, or 17.6 million people, suffers from alcohol use disorder or alcohol dependence.”  One in every twelve!  That’s a lot of people, y’all.  I’m sure we all can agree drinking is a staple activity in our society, which can provoke a lot of anxiety for those who do struggle with this dependency.  It’s hard to go anywhere that doesn’t have a drink menu, or an option to drink.  It surrounds us in bowling alleys, movie theatres, theme parks, sporting events, concert venues…the list could go on for days.  Drinking is everywhere.  While the definition of alcohol addiction can vary based on how severe the situation is, The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) explain that it entails: strong cravings, not being able to cut back drinking/increase in drinking, experiencing withdrawal symptoms when stopping, continuing to drink even when recognizing it may be a problem, etc.  These are symptoms that are usually happening long-term, and can be gradually built upon, as they become more of an issue for the person experiencing them.  This can be tricky to notice because a large factor in addiction is denial.  When shame is involved in the drinking patterns, we naturally want to find a way to stop feeling it because it is painful.  As a result, people end up in a negative cycle of denying the pattern of drinking, and then using it as a way to cope or deal with the pain that is associated.  It’s important to know that there are ways to break the cycle, and to create healthy habits instead.  Recovery agencies, individual counseling, and support groups like AA are great ways to get involved in healing.  Alcohol may be strong, but we are stronger.

Society and Alcohol

Sometimes it feels like there is nothing to do besides drink when we want to forget the hardships we are experiencing.  I’m sure we have all heard the term ‘blackout’ when talking about drinking.  Alcohol has the ability to make you forget the past, and the present.  So often people find themselves drinking to cover the stress of a long day at work, or a problem that keeps coming up at home, or maybe to forget a fight we had with a loved one.  How often do we see in our culture people drinking to relieve stress and let go?  I would say that it can be pretty noticeable when we think about the concept of things like “happy hour,” which is set up to give those of age a place to drink and unwind after a long day at work, usually between the hours of 3-6.  The timing is specific in this!  A majority of Americans work a nine-hour shift that ends anywhere in that happy hour range.  The more we look at how our society is set up, the more we can see that drinking is so casually apparent that it seems difficult to not find yourself over-drinking or becoming attached to the behavior.  As we talked about in the negative cycle of addiction, drinking can easily become a thing that we do to cover up pain, stress, low self-esteem, or anything that’s too hard to feel. 

This Month

            One of the main components of Alcohol Awareness Month is that it encourages an Alcohol Free Weekend, which is usually the first weekend of April.  This year, it is April 5-7.  The idea is to try your best, or to completely refrain, from drinking alcohol as a way to show support to those struggling, and to provide a model of hope to those struggling.  During this weekend (and every weekend this month), it is encouraged to spread awareness to those around you about what alcohol addiction may look like, how it can show up, and what steps can be taken to help with alcohol dependency in your community.  Take advantage of nature and the nice weather, meet a friend for lunch or coffee, do something creative in your safe spaces like drawing or painting—finding a hobby that is separate from alcohol can be helpful!  Local colleges, churches, and recovery agencies can be found showing support during these events if you’re looking for ways to be involved in the cause!  Many counselors in the field are trained specifically on this topic, and would most likely be more than willing to discuss or provide information on trends and patterns that relate to alcohol addiction.  We are always here for you!

Loved Ones are Impacted, too.

            So what can this month teach us about ‘helping for today, and hoping for tomorrow?’  What if you aren’t someone that is struggling with alcohol addiction, but are affected by someone who is?  No matter who you are, there are tons of resources available for anyone involved in this painful situation.  Many of us forget that while the person experiencing alcohol dependency is in pain, more likely than not those around them like their family, partners, support system, etc. are too.  Support groups like Al-Anon, Al-Ateen, or Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) are a safe and engaging space to process your experience.  They are free, and are usually open to anyone looking for a community setting.  This is a great way to feel a sense of support and understand that there are others out there that may be feeling the same way you are.  This goes for saying with groups like AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), as well.  Alcoholism can be so isolating.  Finding a sense of community in the darkness of addiction can be a validating and encouraging part of healing. 

Show Your Support

As we’ve talked about before, this can be a hard topic to talk about!  There is a negative stigma that our society has placed on addiction.  We look to TV shows and movies to guide us on how to react to addictive behavior (Anyone seen the show Shameless?  Frank Gallagher, is a classic example people reference when I talk with them about alcoholic tendencies!).  During the month of April, try to challenge yourself when thinking about how we view addiction as a society.  Many who struggle with alcohol addiction also have depression, relationship troubles, anxiety, or another related issue. There are so many wonderful ways to get involved and spread a caring and kind message to those who are lost within their addiction. Garnering a sense of hope is important, and may give way for us all to live a better tomorrow.  This epidemic starts and ends with constant education, and the more we know, the better we know how to respond to it!  Happy Alcohol Awareness Month, fellow readers! 

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Emily is currently in her final year of the Master of Education in Counseling at Stephens College, here in Columbia.  She is active in the student led Stephens Counseling Association, and is also a part of the American Counseling Association (ACA). Prior to graduate school, Emily received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at the University of Missouri (Columbia). Emily enjoys working with both adolescents and adults as they process their growth through counseling. She collaborates best with individuals looking to embrace their true identity, find their inner confidence, recognize innate strengths, and find a way to effectively cope with transitions, depression, and anxiety. Emily is eager to experience and train for working with couples and families, a scope of her practice that will have a clear advantage based on her early childhood education experience.