Anxiety–Part I (Existential)
This may be my favorite series of posts EVER. First and foremost, I love anxiety. To experience it can be hell (and that’s putting it mildly), but I love to talk about it with clients because a) it normalizes what they’re going through, and b) it de-stigmatizes anxiety. Both of which are wins.
What Function Does it Serve?
Y’all are going to think I’m crazy, but this is way too relevant to not share. Okay–so most of us want to figure out what our problems are so that we can change them right away, so that we can fix them and be done with it. I mean, people come into therapy and counseling specifically for that reason. They feel some level of distress (something isn't quite working in their life) and they’re not quite sure what or how to “fix it.” Here’s where I come in...
Why Anxiety Is Rewarding
This is going to sound like the most confusing thing ever, but just hear me out. Anxiety is rewarding. There, I said it. It’s rewarding. Please don’t misunderstand, though. Anxiety is rewarding does not equal it’s healthy to get lost in ‘what if’ thoughts that consume your life. It also does not equal don’t give your brain time off because it likes to be worked 24/7/365.
Speak Your Truth
Tell me if this sounds familiar. I was having a conversation the other day with a friend, and she was complaining about her husband–that he doesn’t help her around the house when she’s actively doing things. She’ll, literally, be going from room to room, picking up laundry, cups, and toys along the way, while her husband is sitting on his phone or watching tv. When that’s done, she'll start a load of dishes and laundry. By this time, her husband has asked what time dinner will be.
Five Reasons to Put Yourself First
Tell me if this sounds familiar. Annabelle is a working woman. She’s got a full-time job that she loves, a partner that she loves, and great friends. She balances her time doing extra work around the office or bringing work home (trying to move up in her corporation), being with her partner through outings, dinner, or relaxing (usually with work in tow), and attending get-togethers with friends, whether planned or spontaneous. With all intents and purposes, Annabelle should feel ecstatic. In her own words, “I have everything I wanted to have at this point in my life...”
Are We Even Compatible?!
Here’s a question I’ve heard before–maybe it’s even a question you’ve asked yourself in the heat of battle... Is this normal or are we not actually compatible? Then, for the icing on the cake: Shouldn’t I be feeling (insert your choice of feeling word–the one that you’ve probably said to yourself before)?! Well, let’s talk, shall we?
Engaging Emotionally with Your Partner
One of the most common themes I see between hetero couples (some same-gender couples, but lots of hetero) is that they are speaking two different languages.
Don’t Confuse Strength with Stoicism
This might be one of the areas that I feel most strongly about. This misguided, societal belief that being strong equates to being stoic. That showing emotions is a sign of weakness, rather than an immense sign of strength. That to cry is to not be strong enough to hold it together. That nobody is walking around in pain, with anxiety, or dealing with depression, grief, and sorrow.