Strengthening Your Relationship: The Benefits of Marriage Counseling with The Counseling Hub in Jefferson City, Missouri

Strengthening Your Relationship: The Benefits of Marriage Counseling with The Counseling Hub in Jefferson City, Missouri

One of the primary benefits of marriage counseling is improved communication. Many couples struggle with expressing their thoughts and feelings in a constructive way, which can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and resentment. Worse than that, these hurts can build up over time and, if left unaddressed, wreak havoc on the satisfaction and health of the people within the relationship.

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Antidotes to the Four Horsemen

Antidotes to the Four Horsemen

Hallelujah, am I right?! You didn’t think that I’d leave you in the lurch, did you?! 

Pfffft! C’mon now, you should know me better than that at this point!

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Stonewalling - Horsemen 3/4

Stonewalling - Horsemen 3/4

And it’s on to the next one. Stonewalling, my friends. This is the third horseman of the four. This one is pretty interesting, though, in that there’s some physiology that’s at play.

This is the long and short of what happens.

Partners A and B start having a discussion with heart rates around 70 beats per minute (average). It shifts into a conflict discussion/argument/disagreement. Partner A’s heart rate jumps to 80 beats per minute the second the conversation heats up. Partner B’s heart rate has gone up to about 74.

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Defensiveness - Horsemen 2/4

Defensiveness - Horsemen 2/4

Think of a time when you felt attacked. Maybe it was by your partner, maybe it was by a stranger, family, your boss or coworker, or a friend - it doesn't really matter who did it. The point is this. Take yourself back to that time and recall what it felt like in that moment.

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Conflict Avoidance by Listening (Easy as Pie)

Conflict Avoidance by Listening (Easy as Pie)

You know the song and dance...

Partner one says, "I'm upset about this thing that happened." Partner two says, "I didn't do anything wrong!" Partner one says, "You did xyz!" Partner two says, "That's only because you did abc!" And then the two careen into a fight that has no real beginning and no real end.

Both partners feel justified. Both partners feel vilified. Both partners leave feeling misunderstood, ignored, and frustrated.

IT SUCKS.

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