Existential Drift...
I don’t even know if that's a term or not, but it makes sense in my head. Here’s what I meant by existential drift–it’s that moment in time when you’re thinking about the meaning of life, or why you’re here, or what’s your purpose, or what’s it all mean, and then you shift from curiosity and awe into despair, angst, and terror.
You Know What To Do, But Do You DO It?
Here’s the scenario. I’m in session with a couple and we start an intervention that requires stating things from a personal perspective for one person and listening and summarizing for the other (without giving their interpretation or jumping into why). Easy peasy, right? WRONG.
Own Your ‘Stuff’
This isn’t a fun topic for people, although I would argue it’s one of the most necessary things that people should do. Personally, I love this topic. I love seeing people self reflect in such a way that they can honestly own whatever it is that they’re doing in a given situation. I also personally love this topic–I’d rather know what my stuff is then have it metaphorically slap me in the face later on to the point that I feel completely blindsided.
Conflict Avoidance by Listening (Easy as Pie)
You know the song and dance... Partner one says, “I’m upset about this thing that happened.” Partner two says, “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Partner one says, “You did xyz!” Partner two says, “That’s only because you did abc!” And then the two careen into a fight that has no real beginning and no real end.
Three Themes in Couples Therapy
When I do couples therapy, there are three big themes that I’m consistently keeping in mind. Not only do these help with the direction of where therapy needs to go, but they also give us the framework for looking at what is going right within the relationship.
I Feel Better... I’m CURED!
This is a common mistake for people coming in for therapy. Namely, that they feel “better” and thus believe their work in therapy is done. HEAR ME OUT! I realize that sounds really silly, but keep reading to fully understand what I mean.
Stress-Busting Tips for a Holiday Host
Planning a party is, for the most part, a blast. There’s a certain thrill you get when picking out special decorations, food, and activities for your friends and loved ones’ enjoyment. However, the stress of the holidays can take all the fun out of hosting an event.
Why Friendship Matters in a Long-Term Relationship
I think this is going to be a really obvious blog for people who are reading, but I’ve been surprised before, so it’s worth it to share. When I work with couples, I tell them that the work they do is broken down into three large themes (too much detail to get into, seriously), all of which are based around the Gottman’s work.