Change, Part 2–Preparing for a Change
Change can be intimidating. Change is difficult. Luckily, we can prepare for this change. Nobody can be expected to change without a little preparation. There’s a high chance this change will be difficult if this stress and anxiety has been part of your life for a while. Take a deep breath and remember that this is for you.
Change, Part 1–Recognizing the Need for Making a Change
Suppose you are a receptionist. You get up every morning and prepare to go to a job where you must greet visitors and answer phones in a friendly nature. This is obviously not true for all, but play along with me. Every night before work there is a brief period of time that should be spent relaxing and preparing for the morning.
Anxiety is the Devil
Anxiety sucks. Period.
People describe it as being stuck inside their own personal hell. And there's a lot of truth to that. It's an endless stream of thoughts about worst-case scenarios, what-ifs, past events where you may have said that one thing wrong, and 10 years in the future when xyz might happen. It's incessant.
And exhausting.
What’s the Present Moment and Why Should I Care?
When we talk about the present moment, we’re talking about right now. And now. And also now. It moves along with you. In other words, whatever the thing is that you’re doing/reading/smelling is the present moment.
I Hate My Job... Now What?
Well, of course the easy answer is to “leave it and find something else.” It’s not that simple, though. Technically, it is that simple, but in actuality, there’s way more that goes into making changes than just impulsively deciding on doing something. Here are five questions to ask yourself when you’re faced with hating your job and feeling stuck about it.
Accepting That People Might Not Like You
This seems funny to talk about, but it’s actually a significant factor in lots of lives. Here's the long and short of it. You will interact with people who don’t like you. WILL. Not “maybe you can sway them,” but actually, “some people won’t like you.” Period. Sit with that. Is it hard to stomach?
Anxiety About Your Relationship Doesn’t Mean It’s Done
You should know by now that anxiety is something we love to focus on and work with clients on. You should also know that relationships are something we love to focus on and work on with clients. Wouldn’t it make sense that we end up combining the two?
We Can’t Control How Others Respond
Frankly, we can’t control how the conversation goes. We can’t control the way it unfolds or the intensity of others. Furthermore, there are cases when talking about things makes it worse (if you’re not talking about the ‘thing’ that needs to be talked about, or if you’re trying to talk to somebody who’s overwhelmed and on the verge of shutting down, or if you’re approaching conflict with a person who’s conflict avoidant - all recipes for unhelpful discussions). Long story short: we cannot control how other people respond.