Defensiveness–Horsemen 2/4
Think of a time when you felt attacked. Maybe it was by your partner, maybe it was by a stranger, family, your boss or coworker, or a friend - it doesn't really matter who did it. The point is this. Take yourself back to that time and recall what it felt like in that moment.
The Four Horsemen (of Relationships)
When we talk about the four horsemen, we're not talking about the apocalypse. We're talking about four styles of communication that, when present within relationships, predict the eventual dissolution of that relationship.
Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling, 101
We want people to know what they expect when they come into The Counseling Hub for relationship counseling. So, we figured we could pen this post in a matter of minutes and clear the air.
You Know What To Do, But Do You DO It?
Here’s the scenario. I’m in session with a couple and we start an intervention that requires stating things from a personal perspective for one person and listening and summarizing for the other (without giving their interpretation or jumping into why). Easy peasy, right? WRONG.
Conflict Avoidance by Listening (Easy as Pie)
You know the song and dance... Partner one says, “I’m upset about this thing that happened.” Partner two says, “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Partner one says, “You did xyz!” Partner two says, “That’s only because you did abc!” And then the two careen into a fight that has no real beginning and no real end.
Why Friendship Matters in a Long-Term Relationship
I think this is going to be a really obvious blog for people who are reading, but I’ve been surprised before, so it’s worth it to share. When I work with couples, I tell them that the work they do is broken down into three large themes (too much detail to get into, seriously), all of which are based around the Gottman’s work.
Three Keys to a Successful Relationship
There are three basic things you can do to make sure that your relationship is in a good place. Granted, I can’t make you (or your partner or partners) do any of these things, but I can let you know what these basic things are in the hopes that you’ll start to implement them.
Are We Even Compatible?!
Here’s a question I’ve heard before–maybe it’s even a question you’ve asked yourself in the heat of battle... Is this normal or are we not actually compatible? Then, for the icing on the cake: Shouldn’t I be feeling (insert your choice of feeling word–the one that you’ve probably said to yourself before)?! Well, let’s talk, shall we?