Why Am I So Anxious?!
Anxiety is a tricky fiend. It’ll sneak up on you and snatch away your joy when you least expect it. Or it lies waiting all day, just biding its time until you lay down for bed and then it starts screaming in your ear about all the ways you’ve failed, all the things you have to do, all the horrific things that could happen, all the friends who probably don’t even like you, and all the failed attempts at life you’ve had so far.
Antidotes to the Four Horsemen
Hallelujah, am I right?! You didn’t think that I’d leave you in the lurch, did you?! Pfffft! C’mon now, you should know me better than that at this point!
Contempt–Horsemen 4/4
In marriage therapy terms, we see contempt as a moral superiority over one's partner. Basically, if you're contemptuous, you see yourself as better than your partner and as having the 'moral' high ground…
Stonewalling–Horsemen 3/4
And it’s on to the next one. Stonewalling, my friends. This is the third horseman of the four. This one is pretty interesting, though, in that there’s some physiology that’s at play.
Signs You Could Benefit from Counseling
if you’ve been thinking about individual counseling or marriage counseling, but aren’t really sure if you need it, then this is the post for you. And I’m in the mood for short and sweet, so here we go!
Defensiveness–Horsemen 2/4
Think of a time when you felt attacked. Maybe it was by your partner, maybe it was by a stranger, family, your boss or coworker, or a friend - it doesn't really matter who did it. The point is this. Take yourself back to that time and recall what it felt like in that moment.
Criticism–Horsemen 1/4
Last week, we spent some time just talking about the four horsemen (of relationships). How they're terrible for successful, happy, long-term relationships and how they predict relationship dissolution.
And that's important because I'm assuming you're reading this based on things not going splendidly (#nojudgment).
The Four Horsemen (of Relationships)
When we talk about the four horsemen, we're not talking about the apocalypse. We're talking about four styles of communication that, when present within relationships, predict the eventual dissolution of that relationship.