You know what you want when you’re jealous. At least, you know part of what you want. You might (read: probably) need to think deeper about the jealousy, but you at least have a direction that you know you want to move in. That shit is sacred, folks. Would you rather be floating endlessly through life with little to no sense of “ooh, there, I want to go there,” or would you rather have your eye on the thing you want, even though you know you’re not there yet?
Honestly, if I was going to pick any year of my life to reflect on, it would be this past year. Hands down. 2019 was the year of transition. It was transition and sudden change and everything in between. I’ve been thinking about writing this for the past couple of days and was constantly set back in my thoughts of, “how can I even put words to the experience of the last year?” or “I feel too many things where do I even start to reflect?” I’m a feeler.
Hurried growth for me is difficult to maintain and handle, whether it is personal or professional. It comes with more frequent setbacks and I think the positive outlook, along with patience, has allowed me to not feel defeated. I’m still a mess at time, but I’m starting to believe that my “mess” is actually organized chaos. I’m happy with the tasks that I have and when I’m unable to take time to reflect, I have a much different view.
My last year has been a whirl wind. The year has flown by and good things have came from it. I can honestly say that this has been one of the least stressful years of my life and I am so thankful for that. Let’s see, some of the highlights include celebrating my older kids second year adopt-i-versary, getting more nieces and nephews- which one of those is a set of twinies, eating healthier and exercising, my first born biological daughter hitting the double digits for her birthday, paying off some debt that has been around for a few years, and last (but certainly not least) graduating! This year has been one that I have felt very proud of and I want to share a bit about what is the same, what has changed, and what I want to see happen in 2020.
Every single person, including you, are worth loving. Second, many people have been in the boat that you’re in- feeling defeated and sad. But there’s always time to change. Learning to love yourself may take a while as you may find yourself not believing the new things you’re telling yourself, but with time, you will find that you’re loveable and you can love yourself.
